Dear Yoplait,
Hey – can we talk? I’ve been meaning to get something off my chest and I want to do it before it builds up too much and we both end up hating each other.
I don’t like how you’re built. Your containers. You have this
conical shape with moats at the bottom and eaves at the top, which is incredibly
frustrating because yogurt lodges in both places and is near impossible to get
to.
Because you are so delicious, I need all
of you and your terrible package design has me rooting around for every last
swipe of flavor. You make me feel like a dumpster diver on recycling day. And that’s
not a good feeling.
My friends told me not to blame you. They say that you need to
be the way you are because it’s the best way to ship you. I just can’t accept
that and if it’s true, then I need to hear it from you directly. There are plenty of other yogurt containers
out there that have flatter bottoms and sides that can be easily spooned. I know this because I’ve cheated on you—I’ve
seen what else the market has to offer (you forced me to it, so let’s not point
fingers). So what’s the real reason? Did
you spend all of your money on taste testers instead of on product designers? Do
you have some weird obsession with tunnels and ditches? Do you want to hurt all
the people in your life? Just be honest with me.
You know very well that you have the best flavors out there
and I love almost all 40 of them. It’s no secret that I can’t get over your Red
Velvet Cake and your Key Lime Pie. That’s not the issue...no one is arguing that
your best feature is the quality and diversity of your flavors. I just can’t stand how you are packaged and
wanted to tell you because if you don’t change, I don’t know if this can work.
Think about it and let me know.
Love,
Ava E.
