Alzheimer's Prevention Plan

One of my biggest fears is that I'm going to develop Alzheimer's. It's a little morbid, but I can't help it and it obviously gets worse with every passing year. Plus, I saw a movie on a plane a few years ago about a happy elderly couple; the wife gets Alzheimer's, forgets about her husband, and falls in love with someone else. I was bawling for an hour straight. It was a terrible movie selection on my part because it only heightened my fear and it completely stressed out the guy sitting next to me.

To give myself an illusion of control, I've developed an Alzheimer's Prevention Plan. This plan consists of tangible steps I can take to keep my mind sharp and nimble into my golden years, ensuring I'll be perfectly aware of my itchy Depends and deteriorating driving skills.

How to keep your mind sharp so you don't get Alzheimer's:

Park somewhere different every day. Because I live in an urban area and don't have assigned parking, every morning I walk out of my house and struggle to remember where my car is. Sometimes it takes a few blocks in the wrong direction to jog my memory, which is incredibly frustrating at the time, but I usually console myself with the idea that I'm using my brain first thing in the morning. Then I drive to work and park in a different spot every day so I can repeat the process when I leave the office. My coworkers get to watch me wander the parking lot like an idiot, but I get a great memory test twice a day.

Walk through the grocery store backwards. It's weird; you feel like you're going to forget what you need to buy because you're not following the path you usually take. But that's the best reason to do it - you don't want your memory to be the prison bitch of habit.

Do crosswords, sudoku, or puzzles. This is fairly obvious and I do love crosswords, but I was recently given an IQ check when helping my nephew with a dinosaur puzzle for ages 5+. We must have put it together four times a day and every time I swore there was a piece missing before he proved me wrong and assembled the T-Rex. He's two and a half. Looking for patterns is apparently something I need to work on.

Put your pants on with the opposite leg first. If you normally go right leg first, switch it up and try leading with the left. Sounds easy but I almost face planted the first time I did it.

Read a damn book. Enough said.

Rearrange the furniture in your house every year (or more often). Especially in your bedroom so you're forced to think about where things are when you get up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom (or you'll pay the price of hitting your shin on a corner of your dresser).

Avoid the calculator. I don't mean that you should sketch out some long-hand math for your taxes, just figure out your portion of your next restaurant bill on the cocktail napkin instead of whipping out the iPhone calculator. The good news is you'll be using your math skills...the bad news is you might end up leaving a 57% tip.

Travel. There is nothing that will keep you sharper than trying to navigate through unknown territory. Particularly if you are in a place where you don't speak the language or have to drive on the opposite side of the road. The struggle to be understood and to get from point A to B is a true test of mental acuity and one of my favorite things about traveling. Yes, you're going to end up sleeping in a crummy hostel you got scammed into and ripping a useless map to shreds in a very public display of temper, but at least you're living by your own wits.

For the record, I don't mean to make light of this disease - I'm legitimately afraid of it and I really do try these things. So just go with it and let me believe that this is my cure.