5 Types of Facebook Posts That Really Annoy Me

1. The cryptic post. Otherwise known as “vaguebooking”– the overly dramatic and incredibly annoying post hinting at some type of emotional Armageddon that is a blatant bid for attention (aka comments). It’s sometimes followed by a cheesy quote that was ripped from the headlines of a Hallmark store.

Some of my recent favorites from people who immediately earned an unfriend from me include:

• “Don’t ask me what’s wrong, just pray for me.”
• “Will it ever get easier?! I’m just trying to remember that ‘when one door closes, another one opens!’”
• “I can’t believe this stuff actually happens."

2. What you ate. I don’t know how this trend caught fire. Why does anyone think that the type of sandwich they had for lunch or the chicken pasta they made for dinner is newsworthy? If you want to share recipes, start a blog. If you simply have nothing better to comment about, get a life. We all know that watching someone eat is disgusting—it’s just not attractive, even for the most well-mannered of us. And now I have to read about what you ate and imagine my friends slurping up Pho or sawing away at a tender sirloin. Gross and boring.

3. Intimate comments to your significant other. I don’t want to hear how you can’t bear to be apart one more second or how last night was an adventure or how you think of his/her smile when you wake up. It’s creepy to post that stuff and it’s also pretty obvious you’re using your Wall to prove to everyone how in love you are. For chrissakes people, have some pride and send it in a private message.

4. Lame things your kid/dog does. I like reading about momentous occasions—little Johnny’s first step or 3rd birthday or even Spot’s new “fetch a beer” trick. Post it, Instagram it, video it…let’s see something special. But that does not mean you can post about your toddler’s latest bowel movement (“Potty training might finally be working!”), the fact that he/she took a ride in the car today or how sweet your dog looks sleeping. Guess what—no one thinks that’s interesting but you and your mom, so try to do a little filtering here and there.

5. Empty threats. It goes without saying that most people are non-confrontational, so the virtual world is a perfect venue to overreact and project some raw fury onto what’s usually a topic/situation that barely affects your day-to-day life. Enraged comments about politics, travel delays, sensational murder trials and American Idol seem to top the News Feeds. It’s a lot easier to get angry and shake your fist at your computer screen from the safely of your cubicle instead of assert yourself in the real world—this phenomena is called “growing cyber balls.” Chances are if you have cojones in real life, you don’t need the virtual version, so don’t waste our time with ferocious posts we all know carry no weight.

Facebook is a great platform and has a truly powerful ability to connect people around the world, I just wish everyone would be a little more interesting or at least a little more discerning.

For your further reading enjoyment, check out one of my favorite bloggers, The Oatmeal. He shares many of my sentiments: 10 Things You Need To Stop Tweeting About.